


Glad you're mine again

by Isabeauu



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:37:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabeauu/pseuds/Isabeauu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam orders take-out and finally has the conversation with Sauli they should've had weeks ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glad you're mine again

“Hey, come in.” Adam’s sweaty palms hold open the door so Sauli can walk in without a problem. Used to coming around, Sauli takes off his jacket and hangs it in the hallway closet.

“Moikka.” Sauli presses a kiss on Adam’s cheek.

“Dinner’s already on the way. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. What are we having?”

Adam goes red a little bit. “Well. It’s Chinese. But I kinda ordered all your favorites, just to make sure.”

Sauli laughs cause that’s so typical Adam. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Sauli has no trouble walking into the living room as if he belongs there, when the truth is that sometimes he thinks he really does.

Adam plunges down next to Sauli. “You still need to tell me how last night ended.”

“Oh! Well, Alek regrets his one night stand cause apparently she’s ugly when he’s not drunk.”

Adam sputters and snorts. “How did that even happen?”

“He texted me this morning saying his hook-up from yesterday was in his bed this morning and he doesn’t know what to do cause she’s not as pretty as last night.”

Adam laughs. Hard. “Poor girl. What did he do?”

“I think _she_ told _him_ that last night was fun, but she’s not looking for a real relationship.”

“Oh god.”

“But Lotta found her iPhone back! Turns out there are still some honest people in LA.” Sauli goes on.

“Oh! Good for her! Did she cry?”

Sauli laughs because Lotta cries. A lot. That’s what she does. She can’t help it. But somehow it’s still some kind of inside joke between Adam and Sauli. “Before finding it back, yes. Very much. How was your night?”

“Mom came over. We talked for a bit and watched a movie. Or well, you know my mother. The movie was on but she talked all the way through it.” Before Sauli can answer, the intercom rings and Adam goes to open the gate for the delivery person. “Dinner’s here! I don’t remember ordering _this_ much, though.”

Sauli snorts. “You always do. You wouldn’t be Adam if you didn’t.”

For a moment Adam is stunned because in that moment, with Sauli saying that, he thinks back of all the times before writing Better Than I Know Myself. It’s a weird feeling, and Adam couldn’t really put words to it, so there’s no way he’s going to let his mind wander there, but the weird tingly feeling in his stomach is all too familiar and it’s not the first time he’s had them when Sauli visits lately. Or ever since. Whatever. So he goes for a simple and teasing: “Thanks. I think?”

“You care for people. It’s a compliment.”

Adam smiles softly. “Thank you. I like to feed you. You’re so skinny.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s true.”

“Don’t start.”

Adam laughs because he knows he’s pushing Sauli’s buttons.

“You really did order all my favorites!” Sauli excitedly claps his hands. Adam looks from a distance before joining Sauli on the couch where he’s made himself comfortable. Sauli needs so little to be happy, one of the many reasons why Adam has always loved him. And, yes, he really means always. As in; he’s never stopped. Sauli, or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t know and Adam had always wanted to keep it that way. Sauli’s had that serious five-months relationship with a guy that was too sweet and Adam for Adam to hate. So Adam was pretty sure Sauli got over their breakup quite well. But there had never been bitter feelings. Ever. They handled it as the adults that they are, and both agreed that the relationship they had at that moment in time wasn’t a romantic one. And Adam was fine with their decision. Sure, he always loved Sauli in a way that leaned more towards romantic feelings rather than amicable ones, but never once did he try to persuade Sauli into something he didn’t want to. But it was Sauli who initiated the conversation they had three weeks ago. The one that changed everything ever since, in the most positive way possible. The one he talked about with his mother last night. Get it all off his heart.

 

_“So wait. If I’m getting this right, and correct me if I don’t, Sauli and you are trying to give your relationship another chance?”_

_“Well. Not exactly.”_

_Leila looks confused. “Oh.”_

_“It wouldn’t be giving our relationship another chance. It’d be a new relationship, you know? It wouldn’t be the same.”_

_“Oh. Okay.”_

_Adam feels he needs to explain this so his mother could also understand what Sauli and him both think. “We’ve learned a lot, found out a lot. We’re both older and wiser. There were certain things that didn’t work all those years ago, when we first started our relationship. We thought we’d figured them out, but then we didn’t and that became painfully obvious when things started going bad. Now, we both feel like we really figured things out while being apart. It gives us an entire different view on each other, and ourselves. We both feel like we’re stronger as an individual and that’s where a lot of things went wrong last time.”_

_“So Sauli shares your feelings when it comes to all that?”_

_Adam sighs. “Mom. It’s not about Sauli feeling the same things I feel. We had a really good conversation, and he loves me, mom. Not in the way that I love him, no one does, but in his own way. Not less than me, just differently.”_

 

“What movie do you want to watch?” Adam asks when they’ve both got a plate full of food in their laps.

“Actually. Do you think maybe we could talk some more? I’ve been thinking a lot since last time, and, I don’t know. I feel like there are still some things left unsaid. And I was serious about everything last time, I really want to figure this all out, and so, like, yeah.”

Adam smiles. “You’re really cute when you’re rambling.” Sauli flips him a finger instead of blushing and Adam laughs, because, yep, that’s the Sauli he knows. “But sure. What do you want to talk about?”

“Just, like, where we left it last time.”

“Okay.” Adam takes a bite of his food. “You want to start, or?”

Sauli smiles at how well Adam knows him. Like how right now, he can sense that Sauli needs to get some things off his chest, and just lets him. “Have you talked to anyone about it?”

Adam nods and swallows his food first. “Mom. Yesterday.”

Sauli nods. “Thought so. I talked to Sara about it.” He stops right there for a moment. “After we talked I started doubting again. That maybe, I am rushing into something and I might, like, run into a wall at some point? Is that how you say it? Like, it seems easy, but then it is hard and suddenly there’s something in the way again on your way to where you want to go.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Is that what you think? That it’s going to be too hard to even try?”

“Sometimes. I mean, I don’t know. Don’t you?”

“Sure, sometimes I do. There’s something that made it go wrong last time. But that’s what we talked about, right? That we figured a lot of those things out after breaking up?”

 “So it does not scare you?”

“Sure it does. Scares the shit out of me.”

Sauli snorts. “So why do you seem so calm?”

Adam chuckles. “Oh, honey, I’m anything but calm internally, believe me.” He puts his plate on the table and turns his body towards Sauli, reaching out his arm so it’s behind Sauli’s neck. “But like I said, and I also told my mother this yesterday, we both got older and wiser. You’re not new to the Californian life, I’m not new to combining a serious relationship and my career.”

Sauli sighs and throws his head back, against Adam’s arm, wordlessly begging him to comfort him somehow. Like old times. They were so good at it. So Adam lightly strokes Sauli’s neck, the little hairs covering his freckled skin. “Sara says I need to stop thinking about it so much. If it feels right in my heart, my head should not worry about it.”

“She’s a very smart woman.”

Sauli turns his head to look at Adam. “Yes. She is. She makes me see things when I am not able to see them, even if they are so clear.”

“I’m glad you got to talk to her.” Adam takes the plate off Sauli’s lap and puts it next to his on the table in front of them, in between the scattered take-out boxes filled with Chinese food. “So does that mean…”

Sauli puts his finger against Adam’s smirking lips. “No words. They ruin things.”

Adam wants to answer, but the looks he gets from Sauli shuts him up alright. He smiles instead and goes back to his task of stroking Sauli’s neck softly until the smaller man is almost purring. Adam presses a kiss to his scalp and it makes Sauli look up.

It’s easy from that moment on. They don’t need words to know what they both want. They don’t need words to express what they can see in each other’s eyes. And they definitely don’t need words to write down everything they feel when finally, after two years apart, but not really, their lips connect in a way they’ve never done before. Adam always imagines the kiss, when it finally happened, to be heated and impatient, each man trying to get the upper hand. But this, the way their lips touch each other, it’s the softest touch they’ve ever experienced. Filled with nothing but love and lovely messages.

I’ve missed you. I’ve always loved you. I’m so glad you’re mine again.

 

 


End file.
